


tired of tripping on my shoes

by voicemail1237



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Implied/Referenced Depression, M/M, can you tell im new to this, i dont really know how to tag sorry guys, more characters might show up later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voicemail1237/pseuds/voicemail1237
Summary: roxy accidentally makes plans with john and dirk at the same time, and the two of them are forced out of their self-isolation. turns out that it's really not so bad, and they start hanging out more often with roxy and callie, and eventually on their own. dirk realizes he has a type, and john realizes that he might not be the token straight friend anymore.title from cloud 9 by beach bunny
Relationships: Calliope/Roxy Lalonde (background), John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is John Egbert, and you are waiting outside your friend Roxy's apartment building. You hit the button for their apartment, but they're taking a minute, so you buzz it again.

“hellooo?” they ask.

“hey rox! It's me, john!” you say. 

“oh dear,” they respond, and the door unlocks.

You step inside, confused. You have the right date, right? You check your phone and your messages with them just to make sure, which only leaves you more confused. You enter the elevator up to their apartment and try to puzzle it out to no avail. You got the right time and date, so is it possible that they somehow forgot?

You knock on their door and they answer immediately, frowning sadly.

“hey, what's going on?” you ask, concerned.

“well,” they start. “i maybe sorta forgot that we had plans today and i might have just maybe invited dirk over today as well and basically at the same time and he might already be in my living room.” they look at you, worried that you’ll be upset.

You blink. “oh. thats fine! you had me seriously worried there, dude!” you laugh.

They smile. “i didnt want u 2 feel bad or anything! wanna come in? i bet dirk would be fine with it.” they step aside.

“I never said that,” Dirk interjects from inside.

“oh shush!” they yell. “he doesn't mean anything by it,” they tell you as you step in.

You laugh. “it's fine, i've met him a few times with dave.” you reassure them.

You greet Dirk and sit between him and Roxy on their couch. He waves back and scoots over a little so you have some space. He’s leaning back on their couch with his legs propped up on the table, sunglasses on as always.

Roxy gets comfy and starts a conversation before the crickets can get chirping too loudly. “dirk n i were about 2 play video games, if u wanna join? i think i have a third controller somewhere around…” they trail off, already up and away to look for it. 

You sit in silence for a few seconds before picking up your phone, because you really can’t stand awkward silence. You always want to fill it in but then you say something dumb, so you decide to avoid it altogether. You guess it’s kinda rude, but it’s just so awkward. Then, Dirk says something.

“Yo John, have you been doing okay? I don't see you hang out much anymore,” he asks in that way of his where it seems like he doesnt care either way even though he obviously does to some extent, or he wouldn't have asked. You didn't realize he noticed you were there at all though, and you definitely didn't think he would notice you were gone.

You look up at him. “yeah, i've been, i've been okay,” you repeat. You’re not huge on talking about feelings if they’re negative, and you weren’t prepared for that question (especially from Dirk) so you’re caught off guard.

He stares at you for a second and looks like he’s about to say something else that would catch you off guard but roxy comes in triumphantly holding a third controller. “i found it!” they announce.

“Hell yeah,” Dirk replies. “What are we gonna play?” he asks Roxy.

Roxy crouches to look at the shelf of movies under their tv. “okay, so we could play something on the nes, or whatever else, or any of the games i have on the wii, including wii sports,” they say pointedly in your direction. You shrug. You’re a simple man with simple wants, which include Wii Sports. 

Once they start listing games you don't recognize, you start to space out. You’re still shocked that dirk would notice your absence from hanging out with your friends, and that he would think to ask you. Maybe you’re more similar than you thought. You really didn't know much about him, and you'd never hung out with him one-on-one or even in a smaller group before. You just thought of him as your friend’s older brother.

You’re snapped back to reality by roxy literally snapping at you. “earth to egbert? you there, space cadet?” they ask. 

“huh? what was the question?” you try to remember what they were saying. Video games, that's right.

“i was talking about all the 80’s games i own and u didnt even blink!” they exclaim.

You laugh nervously. “haha, sorry. i’m down to play anything you guys want to! you know i’m more into movies anyways.” you shrug.

Dirk snorts. Roxy snickers, telling him to shut up as they swat his knee from their place in front of the tv.

You sigh exasperatedly. ‘What?” you ask dirk, crossing your arms.

“You have shit taste in movies dude, and that's coming from the guy who dated JAKE.” he says, not skipping a beat. 

You roll your eyes. “like i haven't heard that 1,000 times from every person i've ever met. c'mon man, say something new. really take me down a peg. besides, my movie taste is superb. you guys just can’t appreciate a good action movie when you see one!” you huff.

Roxy shushes dirk before he can say anything else and hands him a controller, putting on some fighting game. 

He takes the controller and shrugs. “Give me time. I’ll get back to you on it.” He turns his attention to the game.

You watch him play with Roxy. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt at first, and say they’re evenly matched, but roxy is just kicking his ass. By the 6th round you can confirm it is assuredly not just bad luck. Every time he loses you make sure to make fun of him, and roxy jokingly joins in.

“jesus, dirk. are you ever gonna win one of these?” you say after he loses the third round in a row of street fighters. “this game isn’t even hard, dude. how are you BAD at it??” you ask incredulously.

“Can it, dude. I’m not BAD at this shit, i’m just having an unlucky streak,” he mocks you stubbornly, staring intensely at the tv with some of the worst posture you think you’ve ever seen. He’s seated on the very edge of the couch, with his elbows on his knees. He’s leaning even further than you thought would be possible without falling off the couch or at least being in huge pain, but if he is in pain he doesn't show it.

You laugh. “Yeah, that's what you said when you lost 4 rounds of mortal kombat in a row. you're getting closer and closer to an even longer 'unlucky streak'”

He grumbles some sort of “Yeah, shut up,” and goes back to carefully pressing individual buttons to fight. Everyone knows you button mash in these games, because it’s the only way anyone can win, but you are definitely not gonna tell him that. And neither is roxy, because they’re in a huge winning streak.

He finally wins a round and you clap sarcastically. “it only took you…” you count on your fingers. “5 rounds. a new record.” you grin at him.

He sighs, throwing his head back. “John, do you think you could do better? Because I am so fucking sick of this peanut gallery shit. This is some backseat driving ass shit. If you want to try and do better, then please, be my guest.” He scowls and offers you the controller.

You smile wider. “I’d love to!” you snatch it from his hands and sit back on the couch, getting comfortable while trying to hide the controller so he can’t see you button mash. It obviously wasn’t working, because he could see what you were up to just fine.

To say Dirk looked surprised would be a huge exaggeration, because he didn't really look like anything at all. But you hoped he was surprised. “That’s a stupid technique.” he states bluntly.

“it’s better than yours! granted, this is the only game i can win at because it really requires no skill,” you admit.

“Let me try,” he takes the controller back without really asking, and tries it out. He immediately loses, but wins the next round. Roxy is still beating him most of the time even with button mashing. They wonk at you when he starts complaining about losing, meaning they were going easy on you just to piss dirk off.

Dirk catches on and starts complaining louder at them about it, gesturing widely and rambling as Striders seem to do. Eventually he’s so deep into his similes that it seems like he’d forgotten the point of his tangent, but he draws himself back on track and concludes his essay-length grievance by crossing his arms.

Roxy shrugs and points out that their ploy worked, and puts in a different game.

The night wears on, and eventually comes to an end. You say your goodbyes, suffer a silent elevator ride with Dirk that he doesn’t seem to mind, and drive home.

You walk into your lonely, cluttered apartment, and navigate the shithole you left behind. You sigh and tell yourself you’ll clean up tomorrow, because you really just don't have the energy for it tonight. Besides, it’s late. You check your phone, which tells you it’s a little after 9 pm. 'Yeah, so late,' you think sarcastically. You stand by your previous statement, and get ready for bed.

Flopping down onto your bed, you text roxy.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 21:18 --

EB: tonight was really fun! i'm glad i decided to stick around.  
TG: yezz it was!! im glad u stayed 2!!!  
TG: making dirk all pissy is one of my fave activities and it is even more fun to gang up on him w someone else  
EB: he’s so funny when he’s mad.  
EB: don’t tell him i said that though!  
EB: or do. maybe he’d get mad again. /j   
TG: loll  
TG: hes so silly  
EB: do you think we could all hang out again? 

It takes roxy a moment to respond which freaks you out a little, and you start fidgeting with your bedsheets. They still want to hang out, right? You hope you didn't offend or annoy them somehow, because you don't really talk with the others much anymore (as Dirk noted earlier) and you still want to hang out with them. You like Dirk too, and it’s nice to hang out with someone sorta new. There’s none of that “haha sorry i haven't texted you in at least 3 weeks” awkwardness, and it's a nice change of pace.

TG: hi yes ofc!!  
TG: sorry 4 the late response dirk texted me 2  
TG: if dirk isnt down 2 hang again then he’s (more of) a loser (than he already is) and we dont need him  
EB: roxy i’m pretty sure we are all losers and therefore don’t have the right to decide who is cool or not.  
TG: shhh ur wrong  
TG: we are da coolest  
TG: dirk is a total loser even if hes cool  
TG: just trust me, u barely know the guy  
EB: i never said he wasn’t a loser! i just said we don’t get to say who’s cool or not.  
TG: ok tru  
TG: anyway  
TG: callie got home from chess rite after u guys left so we r gonna chill out b4 bed  
TG: ttyl john!! see u soon  
EB: good night, roxy! i’m probably gonna go to bed now.  
TG: gn!

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist  at 21:23 --

You plug your phone in and lay there in the dark for a bit before properly deciding to sleep. You start reminiscing on the day and the evening, as most people do before bed, and you realize you had more fun than you’ve had in a long time. You always have fun with Roxy and Calliope, but there's something about having a new person thrown in the mix that made things more exciting.

Eventually your thoughts shift to Dirk. You smile as you think of his horrid posture as he focused more on his rivalry with Roxy than the inevitable back pain from sitting like that for so long. Feeling sleepier, you begin to wonder what he’s thinking about right now. Maybe he’s thinking of you. Probably not. You drift to sleep thinking about his stupid glasses and stubborn attitude, hoping to see him soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang hangs out again, this time with the addition of calliope! dirk and john bicker pretty much the whole time while roxy and calliope bear witness and seem to find it all pretty funny. after heading home, john texts dirk before bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! bit longer of a chapter this time :) i hope u enjoy!!

You’re on your way home from work when your phone buzzes, alerting you to a message from someone. You assume it's Roxy, but wait till you’re home to check. The drive home feels longer than usual and every once in a while your thoughts drift to Dirk, so you decide to turn the radio on as a distraction. It feels a bit weird and maybe even creepy to think about him as often as you seem to, and the music helps a little.

After finally finding a place to park (your building doesn’t have a garage), you enter your building and then the elevator, punching the button for your floor with your eyes on your phone. You were right! It was Roxy that messaged you. 

\--tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:47--

TG: hi johnny here 2 remind u abt game nite 2nite!!!  
TG: meet @ my place @ 6 :3  
TG: see u soon!!

\--tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has become an idle chum!--

You check the time and grimace. It’s 5, or 17:00, so you have enough time to find the games you promised to bring and MAYBE freshen up. You want to make a better impression on Dirk this time, even though you know it probably doesn’t matter.

You tear your room apart looking for your ghostbusters board game and your Uno deck. You debate bringing your ghostbusters edition Uno deck, but you think maybe that's too much, especially for just having met the guy. You don't want to come off as SUCH a nerd. Though, he probably already knows if he’s that close with Roxy… you shake your head, deciding to just bring the regular Uno.

By the time you’re finished finding the games and just absolutely wrecking your apartment (again) in the process, you have enough time to get there perfectly on time, if traffic lets you. Pray to the traffic gods for your indiscretions, John. Pray. 

You do NOT pray, and instead text Roxy saying you’ll be a bit late. This is mostly a precaution, because you're already trying to think of quicker routes that will get you there on time. Once you’re on the road, you end up maybe going a liiiiiiiitle over the speed limit. You arrive at Roxy's place a few minutes early, thanks to your detour and boost. You buzz their apartment, and Calliope answers to let you in.

Calliope answers the door as well, and greets you excitedly. “hello again!” they wave. 

“hi! roxy is home, right?” you ask, not sure if Roxy thought they had enough time before their pals arrived to run some errands or if Calliope just happened to be closer to the door (and buzzer). 

“yes, of coUrse! they are cUrrently in the living room, perUsing oUr UnfortUnately limited accUmUlation of board games,” calliope steps aside so you can enter, where you can see roxy scanning the 4 games that they owned with their partner.

Roxy turns to see you, interrupted from their tough decision between Operation and Sorry. “Hi hi hi john!!!!!!” they say, jumping up from their crouching position to run and hug you tightly. “how’d u get here early? didnt u just text me saying ud be late? did u get a ticket?” they fire off questions at you, not waiting for your response. “i guess ur not as much of a goody-goody as we all thought!” they wonk and elbow you. 

You cross your arms. “first of all, i didn’t speed! second of all, i’m not THAT much of a goody two shoes!” you say, indignant.

Roxy rolls their eyes, their voice laced with that special Strider-Lalonde brand sarcasm. “oh yeah, ur DEFINITELY not a goody-two-shoes, mr. i dont have a scratch on my permanent record and i pay my bills early so i don’t have to worry about them.” 

“hey! i’m just responsible! that doesn't make me boring!” you huff.

“I dont mean to interrUpt, bUt yoU dont even show Up to any parties that anyone pUts on anymore, and when yoU did, yoU didn’t really leave the walls or corners of the room!” calliope gently points out. 

You groan jokingly. “not you too, callie! this is completely unfair, it’s two against one! again!” you exclaim.

There’s a knock on the door and Calliope laughs. “be carefUl john, it might be three versUs one soon!”

Roxy answers the door and hugs Dirk tightly. “hi hi hi!!!!!” they say loudly.

“Yo,” Dirk responds, thoroughly entrapped in Roxy's clutch. “Hey Callie,” he says to greet them, waving as best as he can with his upper arms pinned to his sides. He waves to you too, and you wave back. You don't know why you didn't expect him to say hi to you too, but you guess you didn't.

“hello, dirk! it’s a pleasUre to see yoU again! it's been a while,” they say, waving to him from across the room with a grin on their face. To be fair, they pretty much always had a grin on their face. That was just how Calliope was.

The four of you stand in the kitchen and talk for awhile, until your conversation eventually lapses into silence. Dirk clears his throat. “So, we gonna play some games or what? I brought ponyopoly.” he rattles the box for emphasis.

You look at Roxy and Calliope, and nod with them. “letz do this!!!!!” Roxy says. Dirk nods and heads towards their living room, setting the My Little Pony themed monopoly on the floor next to the coffee table. Roxy rushes over to plop themselves down on the couch and sets up the Sorry board, hunching over from their seat on the very edge of the cushion. 

“That looks hella uncomfortable dude, just sit on the floor with us,” Dirk looks at how Roxy's back is almost parallel to their thighs. 

“Its fiiine!” they say, almost slipping off the couch anyways. Dirk snorts. “Nice going,” he retorts. “Shut uppppp,” they laugh, sliding onto the floor on purpose.

Callie brushes past you to sit on the couch between where Roxy and Dirk are seated on the floor in front of it, holding a plate with a steak on it, alongside… maraschino cherries? You watched them dip a bite of steak into the cherry syrup and gawked at their interesting choice. They don’t seem to notice your judgemental stare, as they are much too busy enjoying their (very strange) meal.

Roxy finishes setting the board and they take their seat at red, you pick blue, Dirk picks yellow, and calliope picks green. You’re seated in between roxy and Dirk, and you find yourself bumping into him throughout the game. You apologize awkwardly every time, and eventually he starts making fun of you for it. 

“God, John, I can’t fucking believe you. This is the 16th time tonight you have mindlessly bumped against me and I won’t stand for it.” he says sarcastically, not actually caring. To be perfectly fair, Dirk didn't care much about anything, and when he did, he didn't show it. Roxy giggles when you roll your eyes and shove his shoulder, telling him to can it. He seems amused as well, with that almost-smile of his. 

You note how he smiled at all, because he doesn’t do it very often. You like his stupid half smile. You also think he’s annoying as hell, which currently outweighs liking his stupid half smile. Luckily, you draw a nice comeback card that will give you a bit of an edge. You bump one of Dirk's pieces back to start, saying “soooooooorry,” with as much sarcasm as you can muster. He raises an eyebrow and returns the favor by bumping two of your pieces back to start within one slide. You huff and cross your arms, and both Roxy and Callie laugh at your antics this time.

“what's with all the giggling, roxy?” you ask, just a little grumpy.

“oh, nothing!” they say, giggling more.

You narrow your eyes at them as Calliope takes their turn, continuing the game.

As you progress through the game, Dirk takes the lead and eventually wins, only to mock you the entire time afterwards. He made fun of Roxy for being confident as the “reigning sorry champion” but you seemed to be the target of his jabs far more often than them.

“What was that, John? I couldn’t hear you over the noise of my astounding victory and your 2 pieces still in start.” he said, plugging his ears. 

You roll your eyes for the millionth time that night, sighing exasperatedly. “You are SUCH a dick!” you say, irritated to no end. 

Callie and Roxy had slipped into the kitchen while you weren't paying attention, and you think you can hear them talking quietly, but then Dirk says “Hmm?” and you grab his stupid mlp monopoly board from where it’s sitting between the two of you and wack him upside the head with it. 

“How could you wound me like this, Egbert?” he says, again with that stupid half smile of his, and you wack him harder for good measure. “Okay, okay, okay, that's enough!” he says, quickly fixing his lightly ruffled hair. “Not the ponyopoly, dude. That shit is sacred. As is my hair.” he snatches the box from you and starts setting it up where the Sorry board was.

“nuh-uh!” you say, sweeping the monopoly board into his lap and setting down the Uno cards with a loud thump. “Monopoly takes all night. I want one uno game.” you say, as Callie and Roxy finally come back from the kitchen to sit on the couch.

The two of them share a look before stating their opinions on the matter. “I concUr with john. As he said, yoUr pony monopoly takes mUch longer than a simple game of Uno and if we do conclUde a roUnd of yoUr game, there will be no time left to play Uno.” Callie says, casting their vote.

Roxy put their arm around Calliope. “man, i gotta go w john 2. besides, this means we get 2 sit on the couch!” they said.

Last time Dirk made you sit in the uncomfortable middle of the couch, so you look him in his face before quickly rushing to take the corner seat. “Dibs!” you call as you settle in. He gives you a look like he couldn’t care less before easily shoving you over and taking the spot. “hey!” you protest but he waves his hand dismissively.

Roxy cuts in. “okay boys srry 2 interrupt THAT but john has rights 2 the corner spot bc he called dibs, by the order of house rules.” they shrug.

“God, fine.” Dirk says dramatically and stands, offering his hand even though all you’re doing is scooting over like a foot and a half.

“I guess chivalry ISN’T dead,” you say dryly, wondering what Roxy could have meant by “THAT.” Dirk retracts his hand, putting it on his chest to play offended, and sits to your right with his back facing you. “That's really not a good idea,” you tell him, seeing all his cards. He hurriedly twists around, grumbling something about cheating. 

You laugh, and feel a moment of calm where you’re just happy to be around your friends. You guess you didn’t quite grasp how much you missed being around new people. You come back to reality noting that you’ve been staring at Dirk for much longer than is really socially appropriate and quickly look back at your cards, organizing them by color and number to distract yourself from what could have been very embarrassing.

Roxy and Calliope share another look. You wonder what it means and why they keep doing it. Knowing the Lalondes and Calliope, they were definitely plotting something. But what? That's what you can't seem to figure out. You’ll see in the end, you guess. You’re not too concerned at the moment, because you’re a bit busy defending your honor in Uno. You’ll think that thought later.

You play a few rounds of Uno, and you win one, Dirk wins one, and then Callie wins two. You say you want to play your ghostbusters game and you get immediately shot down by everyone there, saying they were gonna play Dirk’s monopoly instead. Roxy laughs, jokingly saying they “can only handle one hyperfixation at a time with yall’s adhd asses.” Dirk is a dick about winning, as expected, but you tell him to shut up and wait until next game night because really, it's his loss.

You manage to finish the game of monopoly, or as Dirk says, ponyopoly (he refuses to call it anything else) before a truly unreasonable hour, and head home. Once you’ve arrived, you text roxy again, but this time you have a specific question. 

\--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 00:16--

EB: hey roxy! i have a question!  
TG: yoo wassup  
TG: whats ur q  
EB: could i get dirk’s chum handle? oh, and we should make a group chat for the four of us!   
TG: pshh wat do u even want his chumhandle 4?? 2 keep bickering w him?? lol  
EB: i just want to talk to him more! he’s fun to talk to! that’s all! i don’t know what you’re implying, but i don’t know if i like the sound of it!   
TG: relaxx im jokin around w u  
TG: his chumhandle is timaeusTestified  
EB: i’m on to you, rox. i see those looks you gave callie when you thought i wasn’t looking!  
EB: you’re plotting something, and i’m going to figure it out. just you wait, roxy. just you wait.   
TG: nice hamilton reference  
EB: stop changing the subject!  
TG: lol srry  
TG: sounds like janey’s detective stuff is contagious!  
TG: have fun w ur investigation and my cousin!  
TG: wonkk  
EB: what the fuck was that!! don’t wonk at me about dirk!!  
TG: hehe i promise NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /lh  
TG: im headed to bed, ill make the gc in the morning or u can do it if u want  
TG: gn bro ily /p   
EB: don't just leave and not explain! 

\--tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 00:24--

You groan, unsure what to do about Roxy's shenanigans. Then you remember the original intent of the conversation, and think about the other dilemma at hand. Do you text Dirk now, and then wait a day or two to text him again? Or do you wait till tomorrow morning? If you text him now, it’s close enough to the last time you saw each other that it seems normal, and less awkward, but you can't text him tomorrow because then you’d seem weird and clingy. If you text him tomorrow, you risk it being an awkward amount of time since you saw each other, and then you definitely can't text him for a couple of days, if you text him ever again.

You sigh. You hate overthinking, it always creates this knot in the pit of your stomach, and it's only worse right now. You wonder why it is worse right now, but put it out of your mind. It’s just social anxiety, and you can leave it to Rose to expose your subconscious intentions and desires if you ever decide to confide in her again.

Maybe you can message him now, wish him goodnight, and tell him you’ll text him in the morning? ‘No, no, no, that's WAY too much,’ you tell yourself. You groan, laying your head against the back of the couch to stare at the ceiling. Maybe you wont text him at all, if it’ll be this emotionally exhausting. You bet if you asked Roxy for advice then they’d say you’re being silly and it doesn't matter either way, and that you should do what makes you most comfortable. You check the time and realize that Dirk is probably asleep anyways, so the choice has been made for you. You’ll message him tomorrow, if you do at all. 

Or… you could text him now, while he’s probably asleep so you don't have to deal with an immediate response? 

You think this is the best way to go, and pull up the pesterchum app to do this before you psych yourself out again.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 00:45--

EB: hey dirk, it’s john!  
EB: i got your chum handle from roxy and wanted to pester you tonight before i forgot, even though you’re probably asleep right now anyways haha!  
EB: anyway, tonight was super fun, even when you were being a total ass! /lh   
TT: Chum handle?   
EB: so, good night dirk! i hope we can hang out soon.  
EB: oh. hi! you’re awake! that’s a little shocking. 

You didn’t expect him to be awake and his sudden out of context response caught you off guard, and you feel your palms sweat. You always have a weirdly difficult time texting people, and do better in real life. You know it's oddly backwards, as many people have pointed out before, but that's just how it is for you.

TT: It’s chumhandle.  
EB: what?  
EB: that’s what i said?  
TT: You said chum handle. I said chumhandle. The space in-between the words is unnecessary.  
EB: dude, it doesn’t matter! space or not, it got the point across, didn’t it?  
TT: I guess.  
TT: Anyway, I had a good time too. Even when you ruined my perfect hair with my own ponyopoly box.  
TT: Some crimes can never be forgiven. /q  
TT: Especially hair crimes.  
EB: your hair is stupid! 

You actually really like Dirk’s hair, and you think it suits him, but you could never let him know that.

EB: and you definitely deserved it.  
EB: it’s what you get for being an ass to me about winning sorry!  
EB: i bet you cheated, and that's how you bumped my pieces.  
TT: Dude. I would never cheat at Sorry. That’s hells of shameful.  
TT: I’m sorry you’re so bad at Sorry and so butthurt that you have to throw such false accusations at me.  
EB: we'll just have to have a rematch!  
TT: I guess so.  
TT: If it wasn’t a game of luck, I’d give you a headstart and maybe even let you win.  
EB: i don’t need a head start, or for you to go easy on me!  
TT: There you go with the unnecessary space again. Headstart is one word, man.   
EB: there you go again getting hung up on stuff that doesn’t matter!  
EB: i use unnecessary spaces and you refuse to say anything other than ponyopoly, so i think we even out  
TT: That’s the proper word.  
EB: ponyopoly isn’t anywhere on the box, it is assuredly not the proper word!  
TT: Sure it is.  
EB: then chum handle is right too, because it’s correct and not anywhere on pesterchum!  
TT: Nah, definitely not.  
EB: ugh, you are impossible!

You sigh out loud, flopping down on your back onto your couch. He is SO annoying. It’s very funny, and you like it a lot.

TT: I get that a lot.  
EB: probably because you act so difficult all the time!  
EB: anyways, i have to go to sleep. as much as i enjoy arguing with you (/s), i’m super sleepy! goodnight dirk!  
EB: for real this time, haha.  
TT: Dude, you start the arguments. I go along with it for your sake.  
TT: You do enjoy bickering with me, unironically.

You feel your face warm and you take a minute to respond, unsure how to do so. Dirk’s got you there, because he’s right. You DO like arguing with him, but that’s normal! It’s normal to feel flustered in light-hearted debates with a new friend, right? Yeah, for sure! It’s a guy thing! You want to physically fight yourself when the first thing that comes to mind is the “just guys bein dudes, just dudes bein gay” meme you’ve seen and heard a million times. You move your phone to your other hand as you get up to go to brush your teeth, further contributing to the time it takes to respond as you use your left hand to type.

EB: yeah, because irony is a dumb strider thing! i was clearly being sarcastic, as i showed with my /s.  
TT: Doesn’t matter. It got the point across, didn’t it?  
EB: shut uuuuuuuup.  
TT: Goodnight, John.  
EB: you are so obnoxious.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 1:18--

As you brush your teeth and look in the mirror, you already wish you hadn't told him goodnight. It’s funny how you went from dreading texting him at all to wishing that you didn’t have to stop. ‘Like a shower,’ you think to yourself, and immediately regret thinking about showers in regards to your friend. You shake your head, firmly deciding to stop that train of thought before it departs the station.

You change into your pajamas, noting that you need to do a load of laundry, but you put it off. Your apartment’s laundry room would assuredly be empty at this hour, but it's already late and you ARE tired. Not to mention, someone would kill you about the noise. If you had thought this through, you could have used laundry as an excuse to stay up later and talk to Dirk, which would well be worth the noise complaint (even if you’re on pretty thin ice with your neighbors already). You’ll just have to text him tomorrow, you decide as you slip into bed. You fall asleep thinking about him again. ‘Better not make this a habit,’ you think as you sink into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again dear reader :) i hope u liked this chapter srry 4 not uploading for a while but i hope u arent counting on me to upload often bc that probs will not happen LOL

**Author's Note:**

> helllooooo this is the first fic i've ever seriously written and thought was good enough 2 post so i hope u guys like it too :) thank u so so much 4 reading i appreciate u mwah


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